


The Life and Times of High School Boys

by alunsina



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4630311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alunsina/pseuds/alunsina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Baekhyun definitely does not have bad ideas; Chanyeol is terribly allergic to Baekhyun's new friend; and Jongdae, as usual, tries to keep their shit together and maybe loses his in the process. A Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou (The Daily Lives of High School Boys) AU. Friendship OT3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life and Times of High School Boys

_High School Boys and Mascots_

The last time Byun Baekhyun listened to anyone’s ideas he ended up crouching underneath the drama club’s piano prop onstage, clutching the lower half of a mic stand, preparing to fight off an alien invasion.

It was unfortunate that the alien horde—Chanyeol, using rolls of tissue paper as additional limb and additional alien—had been late. And what Baekhyun thought of as Jongdae being terribly into his role as whiny sidekick was, in fact, him whining about something legit. When Baekhyun caught wind of the situation, Jongdae had already ran off to stage right and Baekhyun was left alone to fend for himself.

He emerged under the piano then, mic stand first. He’d seen Chanyeol, the cheat, grab a jar of goopy paste earlier and Baekhyun knew how slimy, many-tentacled aliens are the worst thing to happen to heroic high school boys. No aliens in sight. Only the drama club’s adviser and the club members all staring up at him from the bottom of the stage in heavy, oppressive, silence.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” the teacher asked. Baekhyun, too shocked to apply the proper brain-to-mouth filters, said, “Shit”.

Baekhyun learned a lot of valuable life lessons since then. Saying no to terrible ideas. Saying no to other people’s terrible ideas. Baekhyun’s own ideas on the other hand—

“Baekhyun,” Jongdae says with something like reprimand in his voice, which is totally unfair when Baekhyun barely opened his mouth. It is another warm and too-humid afternoon in the middle of their summer term and Jongdae’s room is the center of all the exciting and bustling summer activities: Jongdae communing with his textbook on his study desk; Chanyeol all stretched out on the cool wooden floor and poking at his scientific calculator; Baekhyun taking up the rest of the floorspace and working hard to not melt. His white polo uniform is sticking to his back like wet rice paper.

Baekhyun ignores Jongdae, rolls over and knocks into Chanyeol, who doesn’t shriek like a prepubescent boy that accidentally pressed ‘AC’ on his scientific calculator.

“It was you who insisted playing in the school theater that time,” Chanyeol says evenly without taking his eyes off his notes, like he hadn’t been there in the planning stage dangling tissue paper from his mouth. He sounds sensible and not even a little bit angry. This is, like, a whole new side of Chanyeol that Baekhyun isn’t sure he approves of.

“This is a whole new side of you that I’m not sure I approve of,” Baekhyun says.

“Aren’t we supposed to do our homework first?” Jongdae looks back at them both.

Chanyeol snorts. “Does Baekhyun ever do his homework?”

Baekhyun adopts a straight face and refuses to be baited, because yes, Baekhyun does his own homework, right after class even. And if he does them with the help of his tutor hyung, well, he will never ever let them know.

“Fine, okay, let's hear what you have to say. I needed a break anyway.” Jongdae slips off his chair and settles into a long-suffering heap across Baekhyun on the floor. “What is it?”

The path to sitting upright is a long and arduous journey, one that required Baekhyun to give up the comforts of not moving on the floor, though Baekhyun scaled it just fine now that he has a purpose. “I was thinking that we need a school mascot,” Baekhyun says.

Jongdae gets back to his feet. Brushes off the lint from his knees. "Get out of my house."

“Aren't you being a little harsh right now?” Baekhyun says, mock-hurt. He thumps his fist on his chest, a little overdramatic perhaps but he has a point to make. "Haven't I been the most supportive—“

"You jumped out of the window and left us to fend for ourselves when my sister caught us trying out her school uniforms," Chanyeol points out.

"—the most supportive and thoughtful friend," Baekhyun barrels through, "who left you both chocolates in your lockers last Valentines’ so our classmates wouldn’t get the wrong idea and think you were all lonely or something.”

"Exactly! They got all the wrong ideas because we are in an all-boys high school!” Jongdae shouts back, if a little shrill. Baekhyun takes note of this and considers all the more how Jongdae needs to get away from life’s stresses. He is a very caring and observant friend like that.

“Mascots,” Baekhyun continues and crosses his legs under him, ignoring Jongdae trudging back to his books. “since we’re graduating next year and all that. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to walk around campus to cheer us on until the bitter end? It’ll be a nice boost to the whole school spirit.” They deserve some eye candy after all the horrible exams they would go through. Someone round. And squishy. Other people can very well get their own mascot if that isn’t to their taste.

“I am drawing a line,” Jongdae says, not even having the decency to look up from his dratted textbook or pay Baekhyun his due full attention, “at wearing furry costumes, Baekhyun.”

“I thought it was the skirts?” Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun waves away Jongdae’s concerns like a flimsy spider’s web. “Nah. We’ll get someone else to walk around and be adorable.” He’s thinking of how he can bribe his tutor, Minseok hyung, to skip his uni classes and come around their campus to ‘give me valuable mental and emotional support in these trying times, hyung’. But then he may just get punched in the dick for even bringing it up. Honestly, Baekhyun gets no help these days. What a hard and trying life.

Chanyeol reaches out to touch Baekhyun’s forehead with the back of his hand. “Hmm, this isn’t like the time you were obsessed with that Do Kyungsoo and he ended up punching you in the ears, is it? Forcing other people to like you or something?”

“Of course not!” Baekhyun says, affronted.

 

***

  
_High School Boys and Dragons_

Baekhyun is a naturally likable person on his own, with people being drawn to him through entirely legal and natural means. So maybe his charms are not enough to convince his tutor hyung to shed all his remaining dignity and be a mascot for Baekhyun’s mental health. On the bright side, substitutes can be made. They just need something cute, right?

“That,” Chanyeol points at the cute thing at Baekhyun’s feet while hiding his red nose behind his makeshift umbrella-sword, “is not a dragon.”

They are on their way to school, in the middle of their Great Quest, and Baekhyun has summoned a dragon from the depths of his grimoire to stop Prince Chanyeol from rescuing Princess Chen.

“You’re breaking character, Chanyeol. Also, this is definitely a dragon. I named him Puff.” He may have squeezed Puff a little too hard around its tummy. The chocolate-brown poodle gives a soft yelp.

“Sorry, Puff.” Baekhyun puts down the fluffy dog on the ground and watches him waddle towards Chanyeol. Chanyeol suddenly goes pale, which is sort of funny.

Princess Chen flounces into their little scene right on cue. Apparently this isn’t a traditional fantasy with the princess all locked up in a tower, but is instead all proactive and frowny at Baekhyun like he’d disappointed her deeply in his evilness.

“Guys, we don’t have much time, we’re going to be late,” Princess Chen says, or rather Jongdae, who seems to haven’t gotten the memo yet that they are in the midst of a Great Quest, which is fine, great, they won’t have to hear him complain about shoving him in all the female roles. “And Baekhyun, since when did you have a dog?” He sounds a little strangled.

Chanyeol is giving him a look too. “I’ve had it for a while,” Baekhyun says. It’s been a total of ten minutes since he picked up Puff at the street corner. “Fine, this is a dog, Chanyeol. A poodle to be exact. Not a dragon. Happy? Can we get on with our quest now? The challenge levels have been horribly lowered. I can’t see how I can defeat you with only my pencil-wand and this tiny, tiny dog.”

Now that Baekhyun’s paying more attention, Chanyeol does appear a bit sniffly in addition to being red-nosed. Sneezy as well—Chanyeol is suddenly possessed by a succession of sneezing fits and Baekhyun has to back up on his heels.

“I am allergic to this type of dragon.” Chanyeol wipes at his nose with his fingers, rummaging through his pockets for something until Jongdae hands him a handkerchief. “I’m allergic to dogs, Baekhyun.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun nods. That’s understandable. It makes evil sense that evil wizard Baekhyun would be able to summon a dragon that the crown prince is allergic to.

“No, like really allergic. Me, me. Not Prince Chanyeol.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun says.

Jongdae is starting to have that crumpled expression on his face that means he’s twigging onto the whole princess thing, or that he’s getting impatient already. “Guys!” Jongdae calls out again.

A Decision Point, Baekhyun thinks. If this is a JRPG he can already see the options in front of him: abandon the horribly cute dragon to the harsh uncaring streets or let the prince go on being allergic.

Chanyeol has been a loyal companion throughout high school, barring that one time--okay, two? Five? Five times when he ditched him for either band practice or cram school. He’d weathered exams and terrifying teachers with Baekhyun. Knew the hardships of being forced to join some incredibly stupid sports fest every year, kicking around a rubber ball in a grassy field, all while having legs the consistency of soft jelly. Conspired to get Jongdae into a school girl’s uniform and took the appropriate number of blackmail material. Now even if Jongdae comes to his senses he is stuck with them both forever and ever and Baekhyun will not die alone.

But a dog! An incredibly fluffy, chocolatey, puddle of poodle dog, that Baekhyun likes and Minseok hyung probably will, because hyung likes tiny cute creatures like himself, which might hopefully include Baekhyun someday. Both Chanyeol and Jongdae are getting busier and busier lately anyway, what with preparing for college entrance exams. Baekhyun can use some new buddy to hang around with.

The poodle waddles back up to Baekhyun’s feet and collapses there. Cute. And lazy. Just like him. It’s kinda chubby for being something that Baekhyun picked up from the street.

As if Jongdae experienced a sudden vision of the future truly befitting his role as a secret magical princess, he yells, “That is such a bad idea, Baekhyun! How will you take care of the dog?”

“You can take medicines for your allergy right? In the school clinic?” Baekhyun says to a still sniffling Chanyeol, who gives him an expression not unlike a dog kicked in the face by his own favorite chew toy and had said chew toy taken away from him.

“What?”

“Wouldn’t this dog make an incredibly cute mascot?” Baekhyun asks.

 

***

 

_Kids and Dog-Training_

He is under no delusion that he is the best at taking care of a dog, but Baekhyun did own a puppy once when he was six years old. A corgi. It was this fluffy thing with pointy ears and energetic barks and liked eating the bread crusts Baekhyun tore off his sandwiches. He would take it to long walks around the playground and vowed to love it forever and ever. Until one day it disappeared from the house, and Baekhyun’s older brother told him it was taken by the big man upstairs because Baekhyunnie had been neglecting it, didn’t love it enough, wasn’t serious about Responsibility. Six-year-old Baekhyun did not cry and instead guzzled all the chocolate milk in the fridge. Which made his older brother cry.

When they went to visit their grandfather up in the mountains five years later Baekhyun saw Mong Ryong again, chewing on his grandfather's slippers. He patted him on the bum and told him he was doing a good job. So he was a pretty good dog trainer at least.

 

***

 

_High School Boys and Careers_

It is an incredibly cute dog that will make an incredibly cute mascot, their homeroom teacher confirms during rollcall; but Byun Baekhyun, why is it sitting in Park Chanyeol’s desk trying to take his attendance for him?

Baekhyun narrowly avoids heavy corporal punishment from that one because the dog really is cute and made a cute whining noise at that exact moment. And also, Jongdae explained that Chanyeol has been in the clinic since this morning for his allergies, which Baekhyun feels vaguely guilty about in a kind of formless and nonspecific way. But, you know, sacrifices must be made for animal welfare and all that.

He still ends up kneeling outside their classroom though, both arms raised up above his head; he assumes the well-known student pose of ‘I have fucked up and I must reflect on my terrible life choices’.

Jongdae strolls out of the classroom not five minutes later. “So, I’m guessing you wrote something horrible in the career questionnaires. Or is it about the dog still?” he asks, all casual, like he’s talking about the weather.

“How can she be mad at Puff?” Baekhyun jerks his head in the direction of their classroom, at the soft sounds of enthusiastic barking. Their homeroom teacher is probably cooing at it like a baby. “And yeah, I wrote something horrible in the questionnaire.”

Jongdae nods, unsurprised. “I hope you didn’t swear again.”

“I wrote SNSD Taeyeon’s housewife under Aspirations.”

“Ahh,” Jongdae says, “that’s worse.”

There’s a stretch of silence where they mutually watch the empty corridor in front of them. It’s the middle of class hours so it’s doubly quiet.

“I still wonder about that dog,” Jongdae begins. “I don’t try to fathom what’s going in your head, because- okay, I might get scarred.” He holds both palms up to mean he doesn’t want to offend Baekhyun even if what he said was kinda offensive. “But is something going on between you and Chanyeol? You used to be brain twins and—“

“—finish each other’s sentences?”

“—be a collective pain in everyone’s asses,” Jongdae says.

Baekhyun stretches out his arms, punching the air, trying to relieve the strain of holding them up for too long while appearing to be in very deep thought. “I don’t remember such thing.”

Jongdae takes up the space beside Baekhyun and kneels, shrugging. “Hmm, well we are all busy studying for entrance exams after all. Even Chanyeol is working hard. But if you do have a problem, Baekhyun-ah, I’m here. Unless it’s something that will likely get us arrested.”

“Gee, thanks for your unwavering support, I-“ Baekhyun stares as Jongdae raises both his arms and looks dead ahead at the empty corridor. “What are you doing?”

Jongdae refuses to turn his head. “You are a horrible person and you’ve contaminated me.”

“What did you write?”

“Pokemon trainer.” At Baekhyun’s uncharitable guffaw, Jongdae kicks him. “Shut. Up. And move a little, I think more of our classmates are joining us.”

 

***

 

_High School Boys and The Care and Feeding of Tiny Animals_

The mascot idea is a rousing success. Meaning, everyone who is within one meter radius of Baekhyun walking his dog around the soccer field during lunch is reduced to on-bended-knee cooing, petting of Puff and being uplifted into midsummer cheer. Even that tall and scary hoobae several years below them stops to tickle Puff’s chin and asks for the dog’s name.

“Where did you even get a leash? And a collar?” Jongdae asks later as they settle down on the bleachers with their packed lunches, or in Baekhyun’s case with Puff nosing the remains of his sandwich.

“Why do you still have that dog?” Chanyeol complains a safe couple of seats away from them.

“The leash was given to me by the security hyungs at the school gates. I did not steal them,” Baekhyun clarifies. The dog collar though is an entirely different matter. How does one steal a thing that’s already attached to an abandoned dog? It had been a surprise even finding that thin band of leather under all that fur. More surprising still to know that Puff hasn’t always been Puff. Jjangu isn’t too horrible a name, but it’s certainly less exciting and descriptive than the name Baekhyun had chosen.

“Anyway, I’m keeping him because he is adorable,” he insists and to prove a point he reaches out to give a friendly pat to the dog’s fluffy bum. The dog, as prompt as a hound trained to kill, twists and makes a go at chewing Baekhyun’s fingers. “And is surprisingly aggressive about leftover cucumbers, oww.”

Chanyeol is lifting the lid off his lunch extravaganza, and by the smell of it it’s probably taken directly from the kitchens of Chanyeol’s family restaurant. Baekhyun tries not to be an obvious salivating glutton. Chanyeol tosses a beef rib in the dog’s direction and the thing attacks that instead. Baekhyun wants to cry because that rib was supposed to be his.

“You haven’t even fed it anything since this morning.”

“Cucumbers? Bread?” Baekhyun says, keeping his face blank and unoffended, because there’s something about the tone that Chanyeol’s using that pokes at the underside of Baekhyun’s nerves, and it doesn’t feel like an innocuous comment at all.

His friend takes a bite off his own piece of tenderly cooked beef rib, chewing it slowly, and that’s just low, that’s hitting below the proverbial belt. It doesn’t help that the wind is being extra and blowing from Chanyeol’s direction that Baekhyun can’t miss the enticing smell of actual real food.

Chanyeol puts his chopsticks down, unsmiling. “It’s still a puppy. It can’t live on cucumbers and bread. How are you going to take care of that dog if you’re in school every day?”

Definitely a new side of Chanyeol. “Since when are you an expert in puppy-rearing? I thought you were allergic to them.” ‘Since when are you this serious?’ is the line of inquiry Baekhyun wants to take to be honest, because he remembers a Chanyeol who once had a sense of humor, and can laugh at things like this.

Jongdae pops open the lid of his lunchbox, as loud as he can make it, and says, “Whoa, my mom really made my lunch well. Do you want to try the egg rolls? The squid? Baekhyun? Chanyeol?” He offers the lunchbox to them each though Baekhyun finds his appetite drowned by the thick and dense fog hanging between all of them.

“Ahh, maybe you just don’t know me well enough,” Chanyeol says.

“Yeah, maybe.” That goes both ways. Baekhyun has the impulse to take the dog and just run far, far into the field. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Puff looks like he wants to pee.” Baekhyun wants to throw the rib bone at Chanyeol’s head but his aim is crap so he just grabs the leash and almost trips over himself getting away as fast as he can.

(The dog did go have his pee, just by the goal posts at the other side of the soccer field, and Baekhyun isn’t comforted by the idea that Chanyeol is right.)

 

***

 

_High School Boys and A Moment’s Peace_

“Huh.” Chanyeol drops back his piece of meat back into his lunchbox. Instead of eating, he watches both Baekhyun and the poodle dive back into the soccer field. “He doesn’t even like running. Or any form of activity involving his feet.”

Jongdae frowns down at his own food. “Why don’t you want to taste my mom’s cooking? I’m not joking. It’s good. I didn’t just offer it out of a misguided attempt to distract the two of you.”

Chanyeol snatches up an egg roll from the proffered lunch. “Thanks.” For a while there’s only the soft sounds of half-hearted chewing, and just the two watching the field, an empty one, now that Baekhyun’s on the other side.

“Aah, it’s too quiet. I’m getting sleepy,” Chanyeol says.

Jongdae nods beside him. “Me, too. I think my appetite left me.”

 

***

 

_High School Boys and Fangirls_

It seems Chanyeol’s band practice goes way past what Baekhyun’s comfortable waiting for at school, at least that’s what Jongdae tells him as they start packing up their things to catch their train home. School is traumatic enough already during class hours and Baekhyun finds he has someone depending on him now, namely a starving poodle, a Responsibility, so it’s better if he gets a move on responsible pet ownership and buy the pup some proper food. Jongdae, without a word, carries Baekhyun’s bookbag for him as Baekhyun handles the poodle, and doesn’t bring up the incident at lunch time nor the fact he has cram school right after this. Baekhyun unwinds enough to talk about important topics: what clothes would he dress up Puff next, the question of dealing with hyungs who don’t speak much but you want to helplessly get to know better, SNSD’s new summer single. Jongdae brings up how he wants to convince his parents he wants to audition in the music department of a local college, and Baekhyun fiddles with the length of the leash and calls Puff back from trying to attack a lamp post.

Jongdae quickly types in a text on his phone a few blocks before they reach the train station—and Baekhyun is pretty sure he’s texting Chanyeol—when Baekhyun makes the mistake of looking behind, and sees a gaggle of schoolgirls from a neighboring high school following them with their handphones out, muttering about ‘Jonginnie’ and some random group of syllables Baekhyun can’t quite make out.

“Um.” He elbows Jongdae who hums in response. “Is owning a pet really an effective girl magnet or have I gotten unreasonably more attractive in the past hour?”

“What are you talking about?”

Baekhyun makes a pointed head jerk towards the back and Jongdae, being the obvious and unsophisticated spy he is, turns his head to look fully at the group of girls a few meters behind them and says, “Eh, you’re just seeing things and besides,” Jongdae pulls a shit-eating grin, “I’d have noticed if there’d been a complete overhaul of your face.”

“Ha. Ha. I’d have you know I’m the visual in this group, not that non-beef-rib-sharing, band-crazy—never mind.” Maybe the girls just happen to go the same way, go to the same train station. Ride the same…train.

When they both step off at their mutual stop, Jongdae tugs hard at Baekhyun’s shirt.

“Yes,” Baekhyun answers, standing unmoving on the platform with his head firmly straight ahead. “They are right behind us.”

In the scale of one to Jongdae in clinginess this ranks a solid ‘octopus death grip’ as Jongdae grabs Baekhyun’s arm and they both head for the station exits in the most natural and robotic way possible. Baekhyun can almost feel the girls’ synchronized footfalls. It’s disconcerting to say the least.

“What do we do?” Jongdae hisses. “Do we talk to them? This is weird. I’ve never had people follow me before.”

“You have to keep your air of mystery, Jongdae. You don’t talk to them.”

“Okay.”

“Well, Kyungsoo didn’t talk to me. Nor Chanyeol’s noona.”

Jongdae looks distinctly unimpressed. “This is why you got your ass kicked around so much.” They emerge onto the street. Baekhyun picks up Puff in his arms because the poodle’s legs are a little short. Also, the dog is a little slow. Sweat trickles and falls inside Baekhyun’s collar and Jongdae huffs out beside him as they adopt a fast-paced walk.

“We’re totally running away now aren’t we?” Jongdae asks.

“That’s the idea.” Puff gives out a distressed yelp and the buzzing of conversation and collective selca-snapping rises. “So this is what it feels like? No wonder they hated it so much.”

Baekhyun may have heard someone shouting for a Monggu? Jjangoh? Whatever. But that can also have been the sound of Jongdae complaining about karma and how he should’ve been in cram school right now and not suffering alongside Baekhyun.

 

***

 

_High School Boys and Fangirls 2_

“I think I’m gonna go ahead,” Chanyeol announces as soon as Baekhyun arrives at the intersection where they always meet up every morning. Turns and shoulders his guitar and backpack even before Baekhyun can get in a word edgewise. And just like that he ends up waiting for Jongdae on his own, with Puff napping by his feet.

“I don’t know what Chanyeol’s deal is,” Baekhyun explains to Jongdae, who comes in later than usual for having to stay up late and make up for the work when he missed cram school the other day. “He could’ve just texted right?” Puff barks in utmost agreement.

Jongdae sweeps a quick up and down from the top of Baekhyun’s head to the poodle on his feet. “You are serious about this. You are really serious about bringing that dog. Every day.”

“A mascot’s work is never done. Don’t you agree?” Baekhyun bends down and says the last to Puff and Jongdae makes a face that can be disapproving if you look at it straight instead of sideways like Baekhyun’s doing right now. Just for that, Baekhyun refrains from telling Jongdae that he’s playing an invading alien fleet and Puff is the small solo fighter nipping at Jongdae’s heels.

It turns out that the negatives of having a persistent contingent of fangirls far outweighs the positives: because the familiar group seem to be barring the school gates, with no way in, and Jongdae groans like it’s the end of the world.

“We have to talk to them. This is getting crazy.” Jongdae is hiding behind an electrical post, not the safest option surely, but seems to be preferable than being chased again. The girls are crowding around a towering student—Chanyeol?—and shoving the screens of their handphones up at his face, which seems to alternate between frowning at them and earnestly listening to what they’re saying.

The gaggle/group/drive of high school girls turn towards Jongdae’s laughable hiding place. And Baekhyun has that entire-drama-club-turning-on-you-like-a-cult moment before he elbows Jongdae, “I think they heard you.”

“They heard Chanyeol. Chanyeol, you snitch.” Chanyeol turns to look at them both too, waving.

What happens after is a lot of shouting and running. And distressed dog yelping. Baekhyun isn’t sure if he is just naturally more good-looking and charismatic than Jongdae will ever be that it seems like the bulk of the girls (or like all of them) have gone after him instead of Jongdae when they split up.

“Excuse me! Please! Let us just check if it’s him! Jonginnie’s been missing him for days!” one of the girl shouts in between concrete-pounding intervals, and this is too early in the morning for Baekhyun to coordinate both his legs and brain.

“Where’s Jongdae?” Chanyeol has the temerity to ask when Baekhyun reaches their classroom on jelly legs after running so many circles he eventually went past the gates and escaped his ‘fans’.

Baekhyun tries to glare, but he thinks the sweaty bangs all matted to his forehead ruins the effect he’s going for. “It was a very confusing time when you snitched on us and we panicked.”

“You left him behind,” Chanyeol says, flat and inflectionless.

“So I left him behind.” Baekhyun nods. “And you know I needed to survive. My child needs me.”

“You left Jongdae behind because of the dog?”

“Hey,” Baekhyun squares his shoulders, “I get it that you have never been Puff’s number one fan because of the sniffles-“

“Allergies.”

“Yeah, that can be readily cured by the right medication-“

Both of Chanyeol’s hands fall on either side of Baekhyun’s shoulders. Chanyeol isn’t that strong but Baekhyun has jelly arms in addition to jelly legs. “Puff is Jjangu. Or Monggu, depending on who you ask. He belongs to that freshman, Kim Jongin. Kim Jongin, and I guess his unofficial fans’ club, have been looking for that dog.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun tries to brush off Chanyeol’s grip. “So they’re not my fans? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

Chanyeol sighs and lets him go. “You can hear what I’m saying. You need to return Jjangu. He doesn’t belong to you.”

“Oh.” Under normal circumstances he would’ve been relieved a bit, maybe only a little sad at most. He only had Puff for a couple of days and though he is lovable terror and a smelly cute poop machine, it’s still too short a time to form an unhealthy dependence on someone chewing your fingers.

“Are you okay?”

“Did you plan this?” Baekhyun can’t help but ask. It’s not remotely even one of the many questions banging at the back of his head right now. It will do. It’s the only one he can articulate past the sandpaper in his throat and the welling sense of betrayal.

Chanyeol holds both his hands up. “I only talked to them this morning, how can I do any planning?”

“How can you be sure it’s Puff?”

“I am allergic not blind, Baekhyun. And they had pictures.”

“Why do I get the feeling you want to get rid of him as soon as possible?”

Chanyeol laughs and it rings hollow in Baekhyun’s ears. “Wait, you’re making me sound like I’m jealous of a- No, seriously, Baekhyun.”

He feels rather than hears the noise level in the classroom drop. Baekhyun picks up the brown poodle—who is definitely looking stressed and harassed after this morning’s excitement and wanting to pry itself away from Baekhyun—and all but pushes it in Chanyeol’s arms. He hopes he gets some big rash later or something, the jerk.

“If you want him back so badly, here. Just take the damn dog and hand him over to Kim Jongin yourself,” Baekhyun says and leaves.

 

***

 

_High School Boys and Human-shaped Puppies_

Baekhyun and libraries don’t really all get along as far as Baekhyun’s concerned. It’s where his tutor hyung meets him twice or thrice a week though, and maybe that’s enough to build up a mild tolerance for it.

Minseok looks up from the table as Baekhyun sidles into the seat across him and Minseok says: “You said you’d sneak in a small cute animal today.”

Baekhyun doesn’t quite say a ‘tada’ out loud, because library rules and the librarian has the biggest beef with him. But he gestured at himself with open arms, and by the look of quiet exasperation on Minseok’s face the message was received loud and clear.

Minseok raises an eyebrow. “And what are you supposed to be? An obnoxious parrot?” To give him an answer, Baekhyun makes the tiniest of barking sounds, leans across and sinks his teeth into Minseok’s meaty shoulder. Minseok firmly but gently shoves his head away and this time Baekhyun can’t quite muster the facial strength to not let the rejection crack through his face—why does he always cross the line of too annoying, no wonder his friends get tired of his shit, even he gets tired of his own shit, Chanyeol has evidently went rogue on him, and Jongdae will come to his senses any minute now, and then no amount of additional money Baekhyun can scrounge up from his measly allowance can get Minseok hyung to sit with him for more than five minutes.

Minseok, who is holding onto Baekhyun’s arm, refuses to let him get back to his seat. He peers closely up at Baekhyun’s face, his own eyes wide and dark, and it feels like having your skull cracked wide open and vivisected onto the smooth wooden desks.

“You make the saddest dog ever,” Minseok says, not relenting on his firm hold of Baekhyun’s left arm. Minseok lays a hand on one cheek and tries pulling at the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth, like he is forcing out a smile. “It doesn’t suit you. You look weird.”

“I’m a cute puppy,” Baekhyun corrects him. “A very sad but cute puppy.” He likes the feel of Minseok’s fingers on him, how gentle it prods his cheek so he stays deadly still, lest the moment breaks. It’s calming, sort of, if you ignore the Formula 1 racing car running laps inside his chest.

“My friend did something, hyung. I also did something. Now it’s all fucked up.” Baekhyun lays his head on the table, the admission coming out soft, and if he closes his eyes he can almost pretend he’s talking to someone he’s close to and not the tutor he hired so he can keep the stupid from taking over his brain. Minseok squeezes his arm once, then lets him go.

“This isn’t the right place for this conversation.”

Well, it’s been fun—not really—to pretend for a while that this isn’t just one of those professional relationships at best. At least Minseok didn’t punch him in the ears, nor kicked him in the ass too much, and Baekhyun has been better at not being a creep, at being as clingy as a creature from the—

“Let’s take this outside. Come on, Baekhyun-ah, I’ll buy you food.”

Coming out of the library always feels like emerging from a long and dark twisty cave filled with the corpses of dead trees and finding out there’s life and civilization outside, and that there’s such a thing as a frozen hot chocolate with lots of extra whipped cream and that there’s cake. Minseok buys himself some nasty black concoction that tastes like tar (“I told you, you wouldn’t like it,” Minseok says, laughing at the crumpled expression on Baekhyun’s face) and they sit down at some dim corner of the café. For the first time in years Baekhyun speaks in that low tone, not cracking a joke; there’s a tightness in his throat that slowly relaxes, something in his chest that loosens up and Minseok sips at his iced americano and doesn’t bring up how they’re supposed to be doing integrals today.

“So,” Baekhyun tries to meet Minseok’s look of calm attention and he suddenly feels conscious and embarrassed after telling him a stupid story about this poodle and his friends. He collapses back on the table, resting his cheek on the cool wood. There’s a beat and Minseok starts carding through Baekhyun’s hair and arranging his bangs.

“To be fair, you were a dick,” Minseok says and Baekhyun flinches. Yeah, he needed that. Also, this is Baekhyun’s cue to go on a downwards spiral into the center of the earth and never be seen again.

“Obnoxious. Loud. Annoying. Offensive and politically incorrect half the time.”

“Okay, okay, you might ease up a bit. Don’t be too generous with the compliments or I might start thinking you liked me, hyung.” The table may be the only thing that holds no judgment of him so far. It deserves a more in-depth cuddle while Baekhyun tries to figure out how to have continued dignity after this.

“But you’re mostly a dick when something worries you.”

“Math,” Baekhyun mouths.

“And you always seem to like making people laugh.” Minseok smooths the hair at the back of Baekhyun’s head, like he’s physically unruffling his feathers. “Going out of your way to cheer up the people around you, show they matter. Though your methods are strange. You have an interesting brain.”

“I’m too stupid to live, hyung. I won’t even make the bottom of the college wastebin. I’ll get left behind,” Baekhyun says this to the non-judgmental table.

“You passed all your exams before.”

“After you helped me out and I stopped sleeping.” Baekhyun clutches at a crumpled up tissue beside him. “I don’t think I can get into the same schools as my friends.”

Minseok stops carding through his hair and taps Baekhyun’s cheek. “You’ll figure it out.” Baekhyun looks up at him through his rearranged fringe and waits. “What?”

“I was waiting on you to give me some helpful life advice. Advices. How to life guidebook, basically.”

Minseok chuckles and it is a sight to behold, with his eyes going crinkly at the sides and his cheeks and his teeth and just his face. Baekhyun gives thanks to the coffee shop gods for giving him the perfect vantage point. “There’s no such thing.” The bottom of Baekhyun’s stomach drops as soon as he realizes that Minseok has taken out the textbooks they will be using and laying them down side by side on their table. “Only hard work.”

Baekhyun sits up and slouches at seeing the number of books and pouts. “And we were having a moment too. You’ve totally ruined it. No romance at all.”

Minseok nods. “I’m fine with that.”

“Don’t think Math will stop me from thinking you’re all cool and attractive and really, really hot when you don’t notice someone’s watching.“ And Baekhyun gets a tissue to his face just for that.

“Should’ve stayed at the library and not made you eat so much sugar,” Minseok says. He takes a fortifying sip of his black coffee and fans off the red that threatens to overwhelm his face while Baekhyun sits on his hands and tries not to do something inappropriate.

 

***

 

_High School Boys and Kick Ball_

In the history of bad ideas, Baekhyun supposes this isn’t in the top three at least. His version of an apology may seem a little too kindergarten—standing in the vicinity of both Chanyeol and Jongdae during Physical Education and hope they notice him holding out a soccer ball in near silence—but there’s a reason children manage to get along together once they’re engrossed in a game and forget who stole whose snacks and who kicked who, etc.

Baekhyun’s supposed to wait. After 45 seconds crawled by he kicks the ball and it flies and hits Jongdae hard in the knees.

There are a great many things said about Jongdae: long-suffering, sensitive, studious, whiny, kind and respectful to the elderly, a good listener and a good friend, even tempered. But he is not a saint and has his own limits; apparently he has a good enough beef with Baekhyun he kicks it back with as much energy. Jongdae isn’t the most well-known about his coordination either so his aim misses Baekhyun. It’s Chanyeol who goes down instead.

Baekhyun’s whole scheme of I’m-sorry-kick-ball quickly devolves into a scrappy, bloody, and painful game of kick-ball-to-various-parts-of-the-body, which their overwrought teacher had to break up when Chanyeol’s ‘Flame shot’ has put Baekhyun’s left cheek out of commission and Jongdae’s ‘Thunder kick’ sent his footwear sailing alongside the ball and hitting Chanyeol in the temple.

“You’re both assholes,” Baekhyun says just on principle as they kneel outside of the gym with arms stretched out and palms held towards the ceiling, taking their due punishment for disrupting the class. “I was trying to say sorry.”

“I really felt your sincerity,” Chanyeol replies, mumbling through his cut lip. “I hope you felt mine.”

Jongdae is listing on his side, trying to take his weight off his bruised knees and saying nothing for a change, probably too tired to complain.

“I’m really sorry about that dog, though," Baekhyun starts, taking a deep breath. "I guess I got a little lonely.” It’s getting harder and harder to speak through the bruise paralyzing half of his face, so it’s as good a time as any for Baekhyun to say his piece and be done with it. “Err, the two of you have all these things going for you after high school and I, I haven’t started figuring things out for myself.”

Chanyeol nods, acknowledging Baekhyun’s apology and clears his throat. “I'm sorry, too. Maybe you're right. I did get jealous of a poodle." He rubs at the uninjured side of his temples, smiling a little at the opposite wall. Baekhyun counts it as a victory. "Since we’re on the topic—you're mistaken, I haven’t really figured out anything. I'm still playing it by ear," Chanyeol laughs at his own joke. "I'm thinking of helping out at my family’s restaurant business after high school.”

“What?” Both Jongdae and Baekhyun drop their hands in unison, then hiss as twin bruises on their arms make harsh contact at their sides.

“I thought you’re studying for the entrance tests!” Jongdae says.

“Yeah, I am. But I’m just thinking of taking a few business classes.” Chanyeol grins then, eyes sparkling. “I want to have time for music.”

“That’s great!” Baekhyun says, meaning it, surprising himself that he’s not feeling any bitterness. “Now Jongdae, it’s your turn.” Baekhyun almost shoulders Jongdae before he remembers ugh pain and stays in place.

Jongdae sighs. “Since when did this become a relay?”

“Quick, so it can be my turn again.”

“I’ve always known I’ll do music.” Jongdae shrugs. Baekhyun sits on his heels and waits.

Jongdae looks at Baekhyun, then at Chanyeol, then back at Baekhyun. Sighs again. “Sometimes I don’t understand why you two hang out with me, I think I’m too boring—“

“Hey!” Chanyeol shouts, affronted, but allows Jongdae to continue.

“—I mean I don’t have your crazy ideas.”

“You’re you, Jongdae,” Chanyeol adds lamely. “And you’re like the glue, you know? To us three?”

“Uh, thank you?”

Baekhyun straightens his shoulders. “If you must have reasons, well, you’re one of the sanest people I know, and two, you look like a dinosaur. I think those are enough to keep being friends with you.”

Jongdae kicks him in the shins. “Thanks, though I don’t really appreciate half of your reasons.”

“It’s my turn again, yeah? I like Kim Minseok,” Baekhyun says, nervous all of a sudden.

Chanyeol scrunches his nose in thought. “Oh, you meant Kim Minseok sunbae who used to be captain of the school soccer team? Didn't he graduate a year ago?”

“He’s my tutor now.” Both Chanyeol and Jongdae stare at Baekhyun. “He’s been helping me out with our lessons about twice a week. I, I needed it.”

“Heol, no wonder you disappear sometimes. You should’ve told us,” Jongdae says, laying a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder and avoiding the pain-filled areas. “We could’ve helped each other out.”

Baekhyun smiles. “Thanks. Anyway, I think he’s cute but he’s handsome too?”

“That’s great. I’m glad you got that out of your chest.” Chanyeol gives him a supportive pat on the back and goes back to staring at the opposite wall.

“Like,” Baekhyun licks his lips. “I really _like_ him.”

“I saw how you were with Chanyeol’s noona and Kyungsoo,” Jongdae says. “I think I get what you mean.”

“What? What did you do to my noona?” Chanyeol demands.

Baekhyun shakes his head. This is Important. He has to drive home his Point. “No, you don’t understand. Like I see him and I want to coo at his face, but then there are times I realize ‘wow, what a cool and handsome hyung’ and I get this urge to bite him in the collarbones.”

Chanyeol waves his arms in panic. “No. We don’t need to know every detail, Baekhyun.”

“And he threatens to punch the living daylights out of me, but it’s like a baby punch and it barely hurt—okay, it hurt a bit because he has muscles and I was being an asshole and pinching his cheeks—and then he listens to me, and ruffles my hair and laughs at all my jokes, even the corny ones. Do you think guys I have a chance?”

“We’ve unleashed a monster,” Jongdae despairs.

  

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [ animexodom fic fest](http://animexodom.livejournal.com). Cleaned up and edited a bit from the [original](http://animexodom.livejournal.com/4483.html). Some scenes from the fic were heavily inspired by the jokes and the skits of the canon it was based on. Thanks to the prompter and the mod. Also my deep thanks to [slashedsilver](http://archiveofourown.org/users/slashedsilver/pseuds/slashedsilver) for the initial look-see, for giving me 'valuable mental and emotional support in these trying times', and for saying 'please exo' at important intervals, even if she mixes up Chen's and Xiumin's real names.


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